Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize