I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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