Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
