That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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