Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
