he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize