your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
