I accidentally burped into my bong.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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