He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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