Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
