reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
