In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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