I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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