i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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