i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
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