His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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