Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
