officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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