SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
