I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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