i can't believe i had my finger in that
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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