My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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