I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
