apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
