So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
