cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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