She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
