To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize