check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
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