loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize