i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
