I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
