How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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