Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
did you just send me my own nude
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