He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
