to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
