Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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