I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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