yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
