it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
