She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
