it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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