I skipped work to stalk him.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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