I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
