Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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