Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
