Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You dont lie about slip and slides
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
