I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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