If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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