sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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