$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
