My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
im six kinds of drunk right now
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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