i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
