You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize