Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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