I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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