I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
