I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
