yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
