dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
