I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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